Repatriation & Reintegration

Last night I talked to a friend who used to live in Taiwan for many years. Five years ago he moved back to his hometown. His wife is Chinese and had no big problems getting used to life in a new country. She now speaks the language well and has found a satisfying job, too.

Not so my friend. Although he managed to land a good job, he has made no real friends over the last five years and he really misses life in Asia. Nor is he the only one. It seems to be a recurring theme for many if not most of my friends who went back.

It's not that they are too shy or don't have the opportunity to make friends. It isn't that they don't like the people over there, either. The crux of the matter is that after a short while of pleasant small-talk, there's nothing to talk about anymore. No common ground. My friends just can't get that excited anymore about those topics that people back home find interesting.

And the new acquaintances soon get tired of topics they can't really relate or contribute to.

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There are quite a few studies on the net dealing with reverse culture or re-entry shock. I had a look at several of them, but what I read there is more or less that this is a problem that can be overcome. A bump in the road.

And I have friends for whom this would be true. Maybe the first one or two years were tough, but sooner or later they felt at home again. The episode abroad is viewed as an enriching experience, but there is not necessarily a desire to leave once more. Some, to be sure, have resigned themselves to living back home because of various constraints and try to make the best of it while many are genuinely happy.

But for others this is not a bump in the road, but a major disaster. They have been irrevocably altered by living in a foreign culture for so many years and many of them will never fully reintegrate. Just imagine you learned Bahinemo and moved to live with that particular tribe in Papua New Guinea. No matter how long you lived with them, you would still always be the outsider, you would never really fit in. That's what it feels like to some of my friends.

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That is one of the main reasons why one them went back now instead of later. He has three young children, and he figured that while it wasn't sure that the jump would be successful now, it is almost certain that with each additional year the odds would get worse and worse.

As for me, I am pretty sure that it is too late for myself. I enjoy living the way I do way too much to give it up. Plus, I am definitely infected with the sailing virus - although I am fully aware of all the costs - financial and otherwise - hardship and danger involved. But who knows what will happen? And who knows where I will finally end up?

Peace & Boat Drinks to you all!

Holg