Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Time To Quit?

A successful friend of mine recently advised another friend to quit his job and live more according to what he would really like to do instead of slaving away for money. Which reminded me of the situation I was in many years ago in Mexico. I had quit and gone to live the way I envisioned, only to be taught .....

Here I was in Cabo San Lucas surrounded by senoritas and margaritas with a big smile on my face. It was exactly the kind of country and the kind of weather that I had been looking forward to and as I walked around, I considered myself lucky for actually having quit and gone to live my dreams.

That state of affairs lasted for several days and it didn't bother me one bit that I couldn't afford all the souvenirs which were for sale all over the place or the Mexican clothes or the fancy dinners or even the colorful drinks. It was great to go to the beach at "Happy Hour", order a couple of truly giant-sized margaritas for altogether 99 cents to share with Liping. We looked out at our boat and the sea beyond and felt like royalty, especially when tourists swam out to the boat expressing their envy for our new lifestyle.

Little did those tourists know that I spent every day going from ferreteria to ferreteria to get the best deal on some kind of hardware essential for the boat. Or that Liping spend day after day at various supermarkets comparing prices for food and other supplies. They did not know that we had to lug all that stuff for many kilometers through semi-desert, because we couldn't really spare the cash for a cab. I really felt that I deserved one of those Dos Equis beers after completing such a trip.

Of course, if we had had the cash, we could have stayed in the marina, which is right downtown and spare us all the trouble. But with about 500 bucks a month, marinas tend to make serious inroads into the cruising budget. Still, before leaving Cabo for the long haul to the South Seas we would have to stock up on drinking water as well as diesel-fuel for the engine. And that's where thing really started to get unpleasant. Liping carried 20 liters while I carried 40 liters and it took hours to get them to the beach. Then by dinghy on to the boat. It was so miserable that we didn't feel like speaking to each other any more -- rather more like sitting down and having a good cry. All because we didn't have enough cash.

Well, at least ours was an adventure and adventures are supposed to make you feel miserable at times. Friends of mine were not so lucky. He had quit his well-paid job and suddenly couldn't find another one. Neither could she. Ever been in a situation where you simply don't have the cash to pay the rent? Or pay for heating while the winter has just begun in earnest? Not fun, I can assure you. One of my friends took to burning old fences in his woodstove to keep warm. Fortunately he didn't have to pay rent, as he was squatting in an old abandoned building. The stories are countless.

But you don't even have to be in truly dire straits in order to experience anxiety about your finances. The prospect alone is quite sufficient. You still have money to pay the rent, and while you would like a couple more degrees in your living room, at least you aren't freezing to death yet. And eating the same monotonous cheapo food of spaghetti with ketchup and corned beef is probably not one of the highlights of your life, but hey, at least you aren't starving. Yet.

But when you lie awake at night and you see no solution except maybe go and get a job way below what you were expecting originally, well, it kind of ruins your sleep. Never mind the nightmares when you find yourself in a situation where even those jobs don't materialize.

You think I am making this up? Fake, all fake? One of my old friends is in a situation like that right now and he is even considering toning down his resume because whenever he goes looking for a job, people tell him that he is overqualified. He is not exactly having a good time, either.

*****

But you have enough stashed away, you own your house or apartment and you have paid off the mortgage. Why not quit? Why not indeed. Except that some people don't feel satisfied relaxing all the time. Some people don't relax well, as I recently read it expressed by a friend. My parents definitely fall into that category. They remind me of the guy who gets told by his doctor that he has to take life a little easier or else. "But what can I do?" he asks desperately. "I don't know!" comes the answer. "Work in the garden or something." So the guy works in the garden, reads up on gardening and soon he has the most beautiful of all gardens and is justifiably proud of it.

He doesn't stop there, though. He gives friends advice, passes packets of seeds around and before he knows it, his gardening exercise has blossomed into a little business, then a respectable business until he finds himself just as stressed out as before. I sure hope I will never experience that one for myself.

*****

But then so what? If he likes it that way, fine. Better than walking off into dreamland with both eyes wide shut. Actually, I can only think of one situation worse than that. And that is never having the guts to aim for dreamland. Existing all your life instead of trying to live it. Finding yourself on your deathbed with the realization that you have wasted it all. Now that is something to weep for. That is truly sad.

How do you know that you are not procrastinating? How do you know when you are ready? For myself, a simple rule of thumb is that you will continue to need just as much money when you aren't working any more as you need now. If it's a couple or three thousand bucks a month right now, then it will probably stay in that vicinity after you've quit your job as well. And if it's double that, it will probably stay that way too.

*****

The really weird thing about my own plans is that they run counter to my own personality. Unlike my parents, I feel very happy just relaxing. Sitting around and daydreaming, reading a good book, doing a little bit of writing when I feel like it. Taking walks and chatting with friends. And yet I intend to go sailing one more. Which entails more work than your usual day job and costs a lot of money to boot. I know now that I will at times curse myself for the course I have set and wish for "the good old days" (now) where I could look forward to a peaceful evening at home. I will long for that balcony in front of the jungle mountains and I will call myself a moron, an idiot and a lot of worse things when I have to change the engine oil in bad weather or when I have to fix a toilet in heavy seas. But not doing it? Out of the question!

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Quote:
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"I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time"

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Jack London (1876 - 1916)

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